A Fine Line
by Dee2387
Summary: The Fine Line between friendship and something more is difficult to navigate and Nick starts to realise a change is needed if he is ever going to have Jess for himself. Switched to T for the time being, will most likely return to M. Please be prepared for strong language in this story.
1. Chapter 1

A/N _I don't own New Girl I wish I did but I'm just not that cool. I have never written fan fiction before in fact I haven't written a story since I was about ten years old so please forgive me if this is awful, honestly I can't really judge for myself. I love the tension between Nick and Jess and I adore the fiction that allows them to be together already, I would really appreciate reviews and critiques to this starter chapter I know its not very long but it was just something I felt I had to do after reading some of the excellent stories here._

_Please read and review thanks loads Dee :-)_

_(I've revisited and revised this chapter a little, it felt a bit out of sync with the direction of the story. I may do this from time to time with my chapters as I self edit and I don't always like my phrasing or sentence structure. As a ocd-ish kinda person I expect small changes will be made constantly)  
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He's a pretty emotional guy. He knew it, all his friends knew it and his ex most definitely knew it from his crazy stalker behaviour when they split up.

That's why he was finding his current predicament so difficult. How the hell was he supposed to keep his emotions under wraps when she was sleeping across the hall?

He's admitted his attraction to her. He tried to made it seem like it was no big deal. Just a natural thing because she's a girl and he's a guy and she's always around and really who doesn't think about what sex would be like with their friends?

His guess. The sex would be pretty hot.

The problem with all of this of course is, it is a big deal. A very big deal.

He can't imagine what life would be like without her. Especially when they are fighting and she just let's go and screams at him and he screams back and all he wants to do is push her against the wall and kiss away that damn smirk she gets.

Living with her is like walking a tightrope, petrifying and exhilarating all the time.

He couldn't leave that, he could never have gone back to Caroline and lived without the craziness.

He knows that one day it will have to end. They will have to either define their friendship as that and nothing more. Or they will have to take the step forward and give themselves over to the lust that Nick is becoming increasingly, uncomfortably aware of.

Though if he could be honest with himself, he would recognise that the lust he feels for her was there from the beginning.

He felt an inexorable pull towards her from the very first day, and that just scares the hell out of him, because Nick knows that he is an emotional guy and that the pain he felt when he split from Caroline would be nothing to the agony he suspects Jess could cause.

That's why he hasn't made a move, because rejection would kill him and it's much easier to bury his head and live on the bubble between knowing and not knowing. It's much safer, but it's difficult when all he wants to do every minute of every day is be with her. Touch her, fight with her and get her naked without another woman in the room.

Another woman, now there's a thought.

Watching her explore her sexuality with Sam was hell. Real hell. He had to keep everything under wraps that week. A fake smile plastered on his face because that's what she wanted to do and he knew it was something she probably needed to do.

There was no way he was going to give her Andy's number though. She could have liked him too much, and under no circumstances was he going to deliberately push her into the arms of someone else.

Giving her Bearclaw's number seemed like a good idea, but she felt so bad about it and he was a really good guy. Completely bat shit crazy, but a good guy and he did regret hurting him. Needs must though and he wasn't going to help her move on any more than he had to.

Maybe if he got his shit together he could finally tell her how he felt and hope she wanted what he wanted.

He was a bar tender, an employee, he didn't even own the bar. He lived off tips for fucks sake.

How could he ever hope to provide the kind of life he dreamed of, with her, working in a God damn bar?

Not that he would ever admit to wanting that kind of life. Not yet anyway.

That's why he was suddenly so focused on his Zombie novel, it might be a crazy idea to think he could get published, but it was a damn sight better than sitting on his ass waiting for a miracle to fix his problems.

If he could get the courage to start making the changes that he has needed to make since before he met Caroline, maybe one day he could eventually be good enough for her.

He's wasted so much time already and he knows if he doesn't speed up, someone will take her from him. He's not ready to give up that easy. He needs to get sorted out, fast.

It's just ironic that he's trying to sort himself out just as her life is falling apart.

He was sick of walking the fine line between friends and lovers. He was desperate to change their story. To make her want him as much as he wants her.

And most importantly he needs to make a change. As she so astutely pointed out he can't spend his whole life ignoring his potential.

He just hoped she'd still be there when he was finished.

And that she wanted him.

He really hopes that she'll want him.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N Chapter two, I thought I was on a bit of a role so its a super fast update. Hopefully this is going in a good direction._

_Please read and review thanks Dee :-)_

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_"Who's that girl, ba da ba da da, who's that girl ... it's Jess!"_

Shit, I was hoping to be asleep before this happened. She's home and roaring drunk if that off key rendition of her own odd theme tune is anything to go by. She looked so good leaving earlier with Cece I nearly lost it and asked her to marry me or at the very least let me drag her into my room and do unspeakable things to her. Somehow I managed to stop myself, even though it nearly killed me. It's not even that late, how the hell did she get drunk enough to sing out of tune? Jess has a beautiful voice. Even if I haven't told her, it's one of my favourite things about her. Her strange habit of singing about absolutely everything non-withstanding.

The singing has stopped, maybe I should go and check on her, make sure she's ok. I can try to pretend to myself that's all I want to know but really I just wanna make sure she's alone. I don't think I can handle a repeat of 'off the grid Jess' right now. The first time was my fault, but if I'd known she was going to go out and start sleeping with that douche Sam I wouldn't have opened my idiot mouth.

_"Nicholas, Nicholas, Nick where are you"_

She's singing my name down the hall, she must be alone. Fantastic.

Wait she's looking for me. She's drunk, really, really drunk and she's probably still in that red dress. Oh God.

_"Nick ... Nicky ... Nicky Nick"_

I can hear her laughing to herself. She must be right outside my door by now. Nicky Nick, that's a new one.

_"Nick I need you"_

Ok man up Nick, you have to go out there. Just try not to look directly at her. This pep talk doesn't seem to be helping but she's knocking on the door now. Clearly she isn't going to give up any time soon. Deep breaths Nick, deep breaths.

Opening the door I see her sitting propped against the wall. She's still in that dress. I swear sometimes she wears these things just to tease me.

_"Hey Jess, what's going on?"_ She's not looking at me, I'm so glad because her eyes just kill me, they do me in. I've never met anyone who could express so much with just a look. Which is insane because Jess is a pretty communicative person when we're not fighting or she's not acting a bit crazy and making up songs about pancakes or whatever.

Every second I wait for her response is torture. Eventually she lifts her head and I can see the clear blue of her eyes. It only takes a second for those eyes to draw me in, she looks so sad. I'm baffled, she came home singing her theme tune. That usually spells a good mood. Sliding down the wall to sit beside her I realise I've broken my own rules; I'm looking at her directly. I'll pay for that later when I try to get some sleep and all I'll be able to see are those eyes.

_"Jess honey, what's wrong"_ I grimace at the endearment I accidently said out loud. Damn it. I lose focus when I look at her directly, it's like looking at the sun, its disorientating and makes me do crazy things like call her honey!

I am an idiot.

She's staring at me now, really staring. It's starting to scare me a little to be honest. What the hell is going through her head right now?

_"Nick"_ she pauses and takes a breath.

I love the way she says my name.

_"Nick"_

Oh thank fuck, she's stopped looking at me and instead is focused on the hard wood of her bedroom door.

_"Nick, am I pretty?"_

She's still looking at the door so thankfully she misses the gob smacked look I'm giving her. What the hell? Where did that come from? What a ridiculous question. Of course she's pretty, she's a freaking Goddess for Christ-sake!

_"Jess, where is this coming from?"_

She's still looking at the door. Something is definitely wrong here.

_"Jess, did something happen tonight?"_

She still won't look at me. Very cautiously I reach out and with one finger I try to move her face so she's looking at me and not that stupid door. My attempt to keep physical contact to a minimum doesn't really work though, her head won't budge. I'll have to move then.

Sliding my body in front of hers I'm blocking her view of the door, she's looking at me but for some reason she won't look me in the eye. This is really weird, Jess always stares me in the eyes.

As gently as I can I ask her what's wrong again.

She raises her shoulders and very simply says _"Cece"._

I'm still confused.

_"What about Cece, why would you ask me if you're pretty and how does it come back to Cece?"._

She doesn't answer me. I think I am starting to understand what might have happened. Cece is a model, and while Jess is absolutely gorgeous she isn't as overtly sexy as Cece, only because she is a little too goofy to be a sexpot.

I think her goofy side is cute.

Sighing she starts recounting her night how she got dressed up for some party with Cece and her model friends and how they went bar hopping and everything was going great until they met a group of guys on the dance floor of the last bar. Jess thinks that most of them were nice guys. I would bet my life on it that they were douche bags pretending to be nice guys; after all I reckon I know men a little better than she does. Still though I don't get how this seemingly tame night out turned into Jess asking me if she's pretty.

_"Jess I'm still really confused here. Why did you ask me if you were pretty?"_

She really doesn't want to answer that. I can she her become even more uncomfortable under my gaze. Eventually after an eternity of silence, she looks up and stares me straight in the eye and says,

_"I overheard some of the guys we were dancing with talking about me. They said I was the short, weird girl. From a group including all Cece's crazy model friends, girls who haven't eaten more than 200 calories a day since they were eighteen and think it's normal to weigh less than a four year old, they call me the weird one."_

I'm looking at her in shock I've never heard her be quite so open about her dislike of Cece's friends. I knew she didn't like them but that's only because I've dedicated far too much time to watching her body language and I see how she tenses up when they are mentioned. If I wasn't completely obsessed with her I would never have picked up on it.

I could kill the guys that made her feel this way.

_"So I figured I must just not be pretty enough for them to ignore my personality completely, like they did with Cece's model friends. They were all over them, and no one looked at me once"_

Oh God so this is what happened she went out with a group of freaking models. Women who are paid to encourage people to stare at them, and she thinks that because some idiots, some blind idiots at that, didn't try and get in her pants that she must not be as pretty as those anorexic crazies.

I can't let her believe this.

_"Jess, you aren't pretty"_

That got her attention because she's staring at me now as though I've just killed her puppy. She obviously didn't expect me to say that.

_"Pretty isn't a word I would use for you"_

Christ she's tearing up, what the hell kind of hole am I digging here. Get it together Nick!

_"Jess"_ I take a breath. Think before you open that mouth Nick.

_"Jess, you are breathtakingly beautiful. Gorgeous. That's a fact"_

I've gone too far because she's looking at me now with those eyes. Those huge blue eyes that are seeing right through the façade I've constructed to keep her in the dark from the thoughts I have about her every second of every day.

Damage control needed Nick, before you end up doing something stupid like kiss her.

Damn but I would love to kiss her right now. She's still staring at me, her lips forming a little oh of surprise. It would be so easy to just lean forward a few inches and press my lips to hers, but not yet I can't do this yet. She's not ready and neither am I, even if she does just look like she's begging to be kissed after my foolishly truthful statement.

_"Jess I wouldn't even think about those jerks. They must have been blind, as well as deaf and dumb to think those models were prettier than you."_

It's time to wrap this up, any longer looking at her and I will allow my body do what it so desperately wants to. She still hasn't answered me, but aside from the surprise still evident on her face she seems in better shape.

_"Jess I think it's time for bed"._

Argh! Could I not have said something different because my brain went somewhere it's not allowed with that statement. It seems to have worked though, she's standing up now and she looks a little more like normal Jess.

She slipped passed me into her bedroom. Apparently she's not going to say good night. I must have really rattled her cage somehow if she didn't remember to say goodnight.

Closing the door I am so happy to have a physical barrier between us again. I never feel completely safe when she is within reach. There is just too much temptation.

I'm in my bed five minutes when I hear the knock.

Oh fuck she's back. I can't deal with this now when all I want to do is go out there, grab her, kiss that gorgeous mouth and show her how attractive I find her again and again and again as many times as she would let me. Slowing my breathing I pretend to be asleep. It seems safer than being alone with her again.

After a minute, as expected I hear the doorknob twist and I hear her light footsteps coming towards the bottom of my bed.

What the hell is she doing, my heart rate has suddenly skyrocketed because if she comes to me it's alright to do what I so badly want to. But I couldn't do that, not yet, not until it's the absolute right time.

When the hell will it ever be the right time?

She's still standing beside the bed. I can hear her shuffle her feet, it's something she does when she's agitated. I'm debating letting her know I'm awake when she finally starts to speak, barely above a whisper.

Before I know it she's softly closing my door behind her.

I'm in a state of shock, because there is no way I just heard, what I just heard, coming from her mouth.

_"Nick I have another question for you ... When are you ever going to kiss me?"._

Oh Fuck.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N I know I know a third update in one day, it's become an addiction. And as I have a horribly addictive personality I shall have to learn to control myself a little better! After this update though. _

_Thanks so much for all the kind encouragement I've gotten. It's fantastic to get immediate responses and I am delighted that this seems to be going well so far even though my story telling is not as developed as I would like. _

_I won't gush anymore!_

_Please Read and Review, I think this has gone in a different direction than most would have expected. Dee :-)_

_*slight amendments made from first publish_

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It had been a week since that night. I've never been a nervous person but every time I hear a door creak or footsteps in the hallway, I lose the ability to breath. I'm petrified that she will bring up what I have desperately been pretending didn't happen. I still think it's possible I dreamt it.

Yeah, I know. Who the hell am I kidding?

At least my Zombie novel is coming along well. I've been locking myself in my room. Ostensibly to work on the novel, but in reality, I just needed to create some space. The Zombies have become a little more angsty and violent as a result. Also the novel is starting to be a bit more romantic than you would expect from a book about flesh eating corpses. I'm just glad to have an excuse to keep up my ostrich routine and avoid everyone.

I don't think she remembers. Lucid as her conversation was that night, I think the vodka Cece was pouring down her throat before they met Cece's friends, left her with hazy memories.

At least, that's what I overheard her tell Winston. Not that I was eavesdropping or anything.

No, what really made me nervous was Cece. Sometimes that woman is just too damn perceptive. She must have known something had happened. I don't think Jess told her but she's got that crazy best friend sixth sense when it comes to all things Jess.

The conversation with Cece was not pleasant, and not something I wanted to engage in. When she arrived at our apartment the next day for lunch I could tell she wanted to talk to me. This is of course, why I left, making some stupid excuse of needing to go to the store. I didn't expect her to insist on coming with me to help me buy the imaginary groceries I was picking up.

It started in the elevator.

_"Nick, what's going on with you and Jess?"_ She looks at me, clearly studying my face for a reaction. The woman is a model. She understands body language too well. That's obviously why I can't look at her but she will have noticed my discomfort anyway. She's too frickin' observant. I'm trying to put as much physical space between us as possible. Unsurprisingly, not an easy task in an elevator.

I avoid answering her. I seem to be doing that a lot lately.

She repeats her question. This time she moves to stand directly in front of me, removing the small barrier those couple of metres had given me.

I'll give her credit, she doesn't waste time with unnecessary words and the penetrating stare she fixes me with would be enough to make a mute want to spill their guts.

There's no way out of this. I'll have to give her some sort of answer.

_"Eh Cece ... I don't really know what you're talking about. There's nothing going on with Jess and me. We're friends we're not even fighting right now, everything's good ... yeah ... yeah ... everything's great."_

I'm rambling because she won't stop looking at me. Clearly this answer is not going to satisfy her.

Nervously I try to look at anything but her, but it's a small space and my eyes keep drifting to her face, the penetrating stare replaced by a disappointed frown.

I hate disappointing her. She's Jess's best friend, and their lives are so intertwined that disappointing and blatantly lying to Cece, is a little too close to deceiving Jess. Well deceiving her any more than I already am.

She moves back to my side with a despondent sigh.

_"That's what I thought you'd say."_

I can't handle this; I need to know why she is confronting me. Why now? I know Cece has at the very least, suspected I have feelings for Jess. She told Schmidt, and he thought it would be funny to take the piss out of me over it. I made him put fifty bucks in the jar for trying to fuck with the roommate dynamic.

The elevator is slowing down. In a minute we're going to be back in the world and I'll have lost the courage to ask her what she thinks is going on.

Making a split second decision I reach out and slam my palm into the emergency stop button.

_"What the hell Nick!"_ Cece jumps at the sudden halt.

_"I'm sorry Cece, I didn't mean to freak you out." _ She's looking at me like I've gone completely mad.

I suppose in that moment, I had gone mad.

Taking a deep breath I steel myself for the question I need to ask.

_"Cece. Why did you ask me that? What do you think is going on_?" I'm trying to keep my voice even; I don't want to make myself sound desperate.

Ha! That's a good joke. I couldn't hide my desperation if I tried. I have desperate emblazoned on my forehead. It's been there pretty much since the day Jess moved in and it became a permanent feature the day I saw her naked.

Damn it! Don't think about Jess naked!

She turns her body to face mine.

_"Nick, why are we even bothering with this? We both know you are just going to deny it. I know you have feelings for Jess and I know that there's something going on."_

My heart feels like it might explode.

Tilting her head to the side she fixes me with another piercing stare.

_"Why did she end things with Sam? What could you have possibly said to her to make her end, her first opportunity, to act like someone her own age?"_

Ok perhaps this isn't quite as bad as I thought. This is about the fluffer thing.

That's not a secret. I hadn't thought about it but I'm not surprised Jess told Cece. They do tell each other pretty much everything, And anyway Winston started that whole debacle, not me.

My heart rate slows down a bit. Forcing a smile on my face I turn to look at her.

_"Cece, you know Jess couldn't do a casual sex thing. Not really. It's not her. All I did was make her realise that maybe, she should sleep with someone she actually likes. Someone she could form a relationship with. I don't see what's so wrong about that."_

_"And who would that be Nick? Who should Jess form a relationship with?"_

Hold on, she's got that sly smile thing going on. Suddenly I'm feeling very uncomfortable again.

_"I dunno Cece, not one of those idiots you were dancing with last night anyway!"_

Oh shit. I mentioned last night. Fuck.

That knowing look of hers had gotten a hundred times stronger now. I know I've stepped in it, whatever was going on in her head before, I've obviously confirmed. Shit.

_"So you talked to Jess about last night did you? I thought she couldn't remember past the first bar we went to, much less the guys we were dancing with!"_

How the hell do I get out of this one?

The voice in my head takes a break from cursing my stupid mouth long enough to say _"Just tell her the truth, it's not that bad."_ And it's not. Not really. It's certainly not the first time one of us has come home drunk and started a random conversation.

She's waiting for a response.

Shaking my head a little I say,

_"She wanted to talk when she got home last night, she mentioned the guys you had met. That's it Cece."_

There was no way I could tell her about the _"Am I pretty?"_ part. Especially not the _"When are you going to kiss me!" _part.

_"And how did that conversation go Nick? Because, when I left her last night, she was talking about how you find her attractive, and that's why she couldn't keep her arrangement with Sam."_

I'm lost for words. This is unbelievable.

_"Why would she suddenly start saying that Nick?"_

Any humour Cece had in her voice is gone now. She is deadly serious.

All I can do is shake my head a little and hope that that action qualifies as an answer.

Apparently it does not.

_"So Nick, tell me why my best friend is suddenly telling me that her room-mate Her friend, who has a penis, finds her attractive! She's lived with you for a year and never come out with that statement before. What put that in her head?"_

I'm still unable to answer. Her body is rigid. She seems furious.

_"You won't hurt her Nick. I won't let you."_

She reaches out and grabs my chin. Forcing my face up she looks me straight in the eye,

_"You will not White Fang her Nick. You might think you are doing the right thing, but you will not give her false hope for the future. Next time you tell my best friend you find her attractive you better be ready to follow it up with something more than a dresser from Ikea!"_

Ah that confirms it; she knows everything about that conversation. I'm really regretting admitting even a passing attraction to Jess.

Softening her grip somewhat, she looked at me with a little less anger and something a little too much like pity for my liking.

_"And next time the subject of you ever getting rewards or benefits from Jess comes up, you better remember to say something a bit better than urgh and stick out your tongue in disgust at the prospect. That's a lie. Anyone who has seen you around her knows Nick. We know."_

I don't need to ask her what everyone knows. Putting words to it removes my opportunity to pretend I didn't hear that bit.

My head hurts I wish I had never pushed that fucking button. Everyone knows you don't push the god damned big red button! Fucking idiot!

Letting go of me completely she reaches across and releases the emergency button.

As the doors open she turns back to me.

_"Remember she won't always be single Nick. If you want something you better start preparing yourself to take it. Your window of opportunity will close sooner than you realise. It won't wait for you to get over your issues."_

I couldn't respond to that. What could I say to make it better?

In that moment she looked so exhausted and heartbroken. Schmidt really did a number on her. He's my friend but he was such a bastard to her, for no good reason.

We went to the store. I spent the whole time thinking about what she had said. By the time we reached the checkout I realised all I had picked up was Jess's favourite Ice Cream. Typical.

I saw the hint of amusement in Cece's eye when I realised what I had done. Raising her eye brows she laughed at my idiotic action. But at least she didn't say anything. Maybe confiding in Cece wouldn't be the worst idea in the world.

There was no point in trying to hide it from her anyway. Clearly she could see right through me.

Walking back to the apartment I had to say something to her. I couldn't leave that conversation the way it had ended.

_"I don't want to hurt her Cece. You know that right?"_

Nodding she turns to me.

_"I know Nick, but we don't always mean to hurt the people we love. Sometimes it just happens."_

I feel that little tug in my chest again. Like the beginnings of a panic attack.

Love. I never said love.

She see's my panic. Shaking her head again she smirked.

_"Nick, you need to learn to be honest with yourself."_

She picked up her pace and walked ahead of me into the building.

That was a week ago. I've spent a hell of a lot of time since thinking about Cece's comments and staring at my wall hoping it would give me answers. And when it wouldn't, I took out my frustration on all the human men who had their hearts ripped out by Zombies in my novel. That was the added romance.

I've come to the conclusion that she was right. It only took a week and the gruesome deaths of all the principal characters in my book, but, finally, I can accept that Cece was right.

Love.

It is Love.

What the hell am I supposed to do with that revelation?


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N Ok so new chapter. Super difficult to write the first section. I've never done that kind of writing before. This was very interesting (translation difficult) to write. I hope it will satisfy those of you who have been waiting on a new chapter._

_To all those you have read and reviewed so far I thank you sincerely and I hope this chapter is up to scratch!_

_Please please please read and review. I am desperate to get feedback on this because it was miles away from anything I have ever even thought about writing before. _

_Thanks Dee :-)_

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**"Choking on the cloying stench of decay, Kelly struggled to keep his stride slow and even. As an added precaution he dropped one shoulder and dragged a foot behind his body. It was dangerous to walk too fast outdoors. His disguise was good, but when something as amateur as a purposeful step could spell death, you made damn sure to keep it slow. A cloth soaked with piss and vomit was draped across his broad shoulders. The best way to mask the smell of his human blood, it was repulsive, but for him it was a familiar smell. Kelly had spent years, before the epidemic, cleaning piss and vomit from the floor of his bar. Most nights he could cope with the odour, but the reek of death, aggravated by this unnatural heat was starting to affect his lungs. He desperately wanted to return to the safe house, but he had a job to do first.**

**The street was empty aside from the corpses of the last insurgent group, strewn across the tar and piled against the old store fronts.**

**They were all men. All with an open cavity where their hearts used to be.**

**They were the brave ones.**

**They were the stupid ones.**

**And now they were Kelly's problem.**

**Tightening the putrid cloak around his neck he commenced his nightly task. Beginning with the bodies on the street he grabbed at limbs that were still attached and dragged them together to create haphazard piles. The corpses that were already heaped against the store fronts were in the worst condition. Disregarding the safety of the abandoned buildings he left them where they were. **

**During these nightly missions Kelly made a point to get in, get the job done and get out alive as fast as possible. He didn't look at the dead, didn't want to see their faces. The made that mistake once, at the beginning. **

**For weeks every time he tried to relax he saw that guy's eyes, wide and glassy in death, violating his soul. **

**He was a seasoned pro now though, he knew better.**

**Fumbling in his concealed rucksack he removed the small can of gasoline and matches it contained. He doused each pile of bodies with a nominal amount, including those heaped against the buildings. At the last one he started lighting matches and flicked one onto each mound, until the street blazed orange.**

**Task completed Kelly ran to the next intersection. He turned for a moment to see the fire take hold. Soon the whole street and everything in it would be nothing but ash.**

**Being a street sweeper in the new world was very different to the old days but Kelly could cope with it. After all it wasn't that dissimilar to straightening up his bar. Just a another type of piss and shit to clean. **

**Others might be repulsed at the gruesome nature of his new world profession but Kelly had watched enough idiots die to know the score now. A lot of the newly deceased were on a suicide mission. There was a pretense of honour attached to dying in combat and burning in the pyres. For many it was a way of dying without shaming themselves.**

**Those who thought they were being patriotic, well, in Kelly's eyes, those idiots were asking to get their hearts eaten. Passion was their ruin and their unflinching belief that humans were superior to the waking dead was their death warrant. **

**Either way they all ended up dead, with a hole where their heart should be.**

**If it weren't for Kelly and the few other street sweepers who cleaned the city at night the dead would re-animate and be terrorising the neighbourhood within 24 hours. Apparently the infected could become quite energetic, even missing their hearts and other assorted body parts.**

**The sweepers were amongst the most important people in the fight against the infected. They curbed the spread of the disease. Kelly knew better than to try and fight the Zombies, the attempts at Guerrilla Warfare were futile. Inevitably the insurgents died and if they weren't disposed of they caused more havoc than before they made the mistake of trying to fight the infected. **

**He was surviving and the idiots who got themselves killed kept him in work. Sweepers were treated better than most of the live bloods. They were guaranteed some form of shelter and sustenance most of the time, their importance in the new society only trounced by the food scavengers. **

**Society had changed since the endemic. In this new world his stoic nature and permanent scowl were signs of authority. The live bloods listened to him. In the old world he was just a loser who worked in a bar and couldn't get over his ex girlfriend in the new world he was an influential figure, a leader. He fucking loved it.**

**Walking at a painfully slow pace Kelly made his way back to the safe house. There was no way in hell he was going to get caught by one of those flesh eating fuckers tonight.**

**The survivors were constantly looking to him for answers, for reasons why the waking dead hounded them. To Kelly it was simple. He knew what those Zombie bastards wanted, the same as his lying ex girlfriend. They both just wanted to rip his heart out and make a god damned feast out of it. **

**Kelly opened the door to the cellar they had taken as refuge this week. Now in the safety of the cold dank hole in the ground he allowed himself a small smirk and his nightly affirmation.**

**_"Fuck the Zombies and fuck her too."_**

* * *

Ok so perhaps having all three of them in the room at once to read the excerpt was a bad idea.

Winston looks confused, Schmidt has a freaking red pen out to made liner notes and Jess. Well, Jess is being adorable and reading it the same way she watches The Walking Dead, with a hand shielding her eyes against the 'scary' bits. Now that I think about it the language is probably a bit strong for an elementary school teacher who couldn't even say penis when I met her.

I'm dying to ask them what they think but I need to let them process it. I've never let anyone read my writing before. This is petrifying.

Eventually it's Winston who breaks the silence.

_"Nick, where the hell have you been hiding this?"_

Is that positive or negative? I'm not sure.

_"Eh, on my computer?"_ When in doubt, act dumb. Guidance given to me by the curmudgeonly old man that lived beside me growing up, it's one of the best pieces of advice I ever got.

_"Well it's pretty awesome man. I can't believe you wrote this."_

With that I can see the little light bulb going off over Winston's head. He's looking at me with suspicion written all over his face.

_"You did write this didn't you? We don't accept plagiarism in this house you know that Nick. This isn't college. That shit don't fly when Winston is around!"_

I fix him with the most incredulous stare I can muster. Jess would call it a turtle face.

_"Winston I can guarantee you that all that and the other five or six complete chapters are my work. I may not have invented the concept of Zombies but I sure as hell didn't steal the story from anyone else!"_

I know he believes me. He never actually thought I hadn't written it. Winston just takes so much pride in being the best at whatever he does, sometimes he assumes that everyone else is shit at what they do. I can see how he thought I might have re appropriated it. It's not like he's ever read any of my previous stories.

It's not his reaction I'm most interested in anyway.

Jess is still reading. She's removed her hand from her face, which I'm taking as a good sign. I'm guessing she's on her second read. The suspense is killing me. Staring at her, willing her face to meet mine is not working either.

I'm dying to know what she thinks. I need to know what she thinks. Her approval means more than I can verbalise.

Of course Schmidt has to be the next to comment. He's holding the pages I gave him aloft. They are literally covered in red pen marks. What the fuck is wrong with him? Control freak.

_"Nick. I think this is a promising piece of work."_

Oh Christ, he's using his most douche baggy voice. I'm not going to like where this leads.

_"However I've made a couple of suggestion in the margins. I suggest you read them and make changes accordingly."_

A couple of changes? There are more red marks on the page than type. Tool.

_"Let me see the pages again when you have made the amendments."_

It will be a cold day in hell before I let him become my de facto editor. I must look pretty incensed because Winston gives me disapproving look and speaks just as I open my mouth to rant at Schmidt.

_"Ok guys I got to go shoot some ball, get the taste of Zombies out of my mouth. You wanna come Schmidt?"_

Its times like this I'm glad Winston is here to moderate us. He can sense I'm one stupid comment away from slapping Schmidt hard across the face. Nobody needs that kind of drama right now.

A couple of minutes later with Winston and Schmidt gone Jess still hasn't spoken to me, or even looked up from the pages. I'm getting really freaked out now.

Time to bite the bullet.

_"Ok Jess, hit me. The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, ok? On a scale of one to ten how awful is it?"_

I move to sit beside her on the couch. I really need her to answer me. This is important. If this book gets published it could mean a new life for me and bring me closer to all the things I want. Namely her.

Leaving the pages on the couch beside her she eventually looks up and gives me a piercing, soul searching look. I can see she is nervous. She must hate it and doesn't know how to tell me. Oh fuck why did I have to ask for opinions? Clearly the book is a piece of crap.

I make a move to get up from the couch.

_"You know what Jess. Don't worry about it. It's not that big a deal. I'll just try and come up with a new story. I'm sure the next one will be better."_

I literally feel sick saying that. I'm out of ideas. I haven't got a clue what I could write about, the Zombie novel has been floating in my head for so long, I never even considered a new concept.

Oh shit, oh fuck, oh shit, oh fuck. I'm panicking now.

As I move to leave the couch area Jess springs into action.

_"Nick you have to let me speak before you make assumptions about what I'm going to say. We've talked about this before. Sit down."_

I hesitate. This is another time for deep breaths Nick.

Reclaiming my spot on the couch I angle my body towards her. I can't speak. Words obviously get me into trouble so I'll let her do the talking.

She looks so beautiful today. Did I mention that? Well she looks particularly awesome peeking up at me from under the heavy bangs that frame her face. I love her hair it's so luscious, like her lips, they're pretty luscious too.

Fuck I've been staring at her hair and lips and not listening to what she's said. There's no way around this, I need to know what she thinks.

_"Jess, I didn't quite catch that. What did you say?"_

She's smiling at me a little. I'm sure she knows the affect she has on me by now.

_"I said Nick that your character Kelly seemed to remind of someone. Someone who we both know who works in a bar and has a significant ex."_

I'm trying to keep my face neutral. So what if I based the principal character loosely on myself. That's a totally normal thing for first time novelists to do. People who don't know me personally won't know the parallels.

_"Did you model this guy on yourself a little Nick?"_

I'm pretty sure my face is twisted into that turtle look she's always saying I have.

_"Maybe he's modeled a bit on my life Jess, but it's perfectly normal to write about what you know and in a novel, set in a post apocalyptic world, those are some pretty small comparisons."_

I'm probably a little too defensive. She's not saying it like it's a bad thing.

Moving closer to me on the sofa Jess softly lifts my hand.

Her skin is so smooth.

_"You don't have to justify anything to me Nick. I think it's fantastic. I can't wait to read the next few chapters to see where you are going with it and if the publishers don't jump all over it and beg you for it then they are all fools."_

Now this is what I was looking for, complete and utter faith. Jess is the only one who could provide that.

_"Thanks Jess. It really means something hearing you say that."_

I look her straight in the eye so she knows I really mean that.

Sighing she takes my other hand.

_"Kelly is a pretty forlorn character isn't he. He doesn't seem to be very happy."_

I can see she's put considerable thought into this. I try to lighten the mood a little.

_"No I suppose he's not very happy. If you were in a world full of flesh eating Zombies you'd probably not be very happy either!"_

She laughs a little at my weak attempt to ease the tension building.

_"Stop being obtuse Nick. You know what I mean. He doesn't seem to care about the Zombies, in fact I got the impression he was content with his new role in the Zombie infected Universe."_

The room suddenly seems to have a lot less air than before. I sometimes forget how intelligent and astute Jess can be. I have a feeling I'm about to get a lesson in psychology. She is still looking me in the eye as though she were trying to solve a puzzle. A Nick Miller shaped puzzle. I feel like telling her there's no use, I try to crack that every morning. Still haven't managed it yet. Probably won't ever manage it.

With pursed lips she tilts her head as though that will make things clearer. She's still holding my hands. I'm delighted with the prolonged contact even if my palms are starting to get sweaty with our combined heat.

_"No Kelly is an inherently lonely character. He chooses to be that way. He's bitter about his ex girlfriend and is happy to be a, well, a fiery gravedigger."_

Fiery gravedigger, I'll have to remember that one.

_"What really concerns me Nick is that you've modeled this Kelly guy on yourself. Usually when authors do that, they project their own fears and personal hang ups on the character. It's a way to vent."_

Yeah, Psychology 101. Go Jess for paying attention in College.

I grasp her hand a little tighter.

_"Jess I started writing this novel a long time ago. I can see why you think I used the character to vent. The whole reason I started to write was to vent. I needed to do something after Caroline. Something I could control that had nothing to do with her. This is one of the first chapters; it was always going to be a bit angst ridden"_

I'm just glad she hasn't read the section where the love interest for Kelly is introduced. Unsurprisingly she bears an uncanny resemblance to Jess. Some of the Zombies may have been modeled on her ex boyfriends too. There's no need to tell her that yet. When she reads the pages she can figure that out for herself.

A look of understanding passes over her face. It's as though those few words have eased whatever worry she had after reading the excerpt. I can see that it really affected her.

She really is fantastic.

_"So to clarify, you use this novel to vent on everything in your life, all your problems and issues are woven into the plot?"_

She looks like a child at Christmas. It's quite a transformation.

_"Pretty much. I've been using it as an outlet since Caroline, breakup number one. It's therapeutic. I've always wanted to be a novelist you know."_

Letting go of my hands she adjusts herself on the couch. Somehow she has ended up closer to me than before.

_"So then what character am I in the book Nick? If you use it to vent I have to be in there somewhere."_

The woman is too damn smart sometimes! And I'm the idiot that didn't see that coming.

Taking my eyes from her face I answer as vaguely as I can.

_"You're in there, don't worry Jess. You're not a Zombie either."_

There that's an answer, neither truthful nor completely dishonest. The couch is moving slightly. She's fidgeting. Looking her direction again I feel my face start to burn under her gaze.

On her face is the most adorable pout.

_"Now this time try the truth Nick. Who am I in the novel? I promise I won't get mad if you've made me a villain."_

Jess a villain. That's a funny thought. She's like a Disney princess, small animals, children and princes are enchanted by her. That is metaphorically, they follow her.

I'm pretty enchanted by her, but I ain't no prince.

I could just tell her the truth. If I don't she'll figure it out when I give her more of the book to read. Let's face it I'll need to get her approval for every word, every syllable, Christ every letter included in the manuscript. It's the only way I'll be happy to start sending it to publishers and agents.

_"Ok Jess the full truth."_

I need to see her reaction to this. It's important I don't fuck this up.

She looks apprehensive as though waiting for bad news. Her body is even leaning a bit forward as though that will make me confess quicker.

_"The character I've modeled on you is called Daisy. She's introduced about four chapters in as a love interest for Kelly. She meets him during a battle between the live bloods and a group of newly infected. A scientist, she is confident that she will find a cure to the disease which has caused the endemic. She's a brunette; she has crystal clear blue eyes, red lips that pout when she is confused or listening really intently. A bit like yours right now. She's intelligent, independent, vivacious and full of life and in a world where hope ceases to exist she is the voice of optimism. Humanities very own cheerleader, an antidote to Kelly's grumpy demeanour. He falls for her."_

Jess is listening in rapt attention. Her eyes have that glassy look they get before she gets teary. In that moment I know I can't wait any longer. I reach out and gently cup her face with my palms.

_"Most of all Jess she is breathtakingly beautiful. Just like you."_

I look into her eyes to make sure this is ok. With a barely perceptible nod of her head I start to lean forward.

Finally it's time.

I press my lips against hers, tentatively at first. I don't want to ruin our first kiss. Her lips are so soft and it only takes a second for her to respond to the gentle pressure.

She moves to deepen the kiss. I pull her down to lie beneath me as the tentative kisses make way for the unleashing of over a year's worth of sexual frustration and unbridled passion. She hooks her legs around my waist and the contact causes me to groan. Pulling her up I settle her on my lap. I fist my hands into her long hair and lower my lips to her neck. With each gasp of pleasure she grinds her hips against me a little harder creating the most delicious friction. I've never been so turned on in my life.

I always knew Jess would be seriously hot, but in this moment with her head thrown back and her hips slowing grinding against me she is the sexiest woman I've ever seen. I am such a lucky bastard.

_"Nick"_ her voice is breathy and she sounds unbearably sexy. I can't believe I bring this out in her. I've never felt more powerful in my life.

_"Yes Jess"_ I continue kissing her neck. She doesn't answer for a minute, if the whimpers are anything to go by she's a little distracted. Fantastic.

Taking my lips from her pulse point I wait for her to speak. Looking down at me she has that look, the _I really want to have sex right now look_.

_"Nick. I'm..."_ She gasps as I grasp her ass and pull her flush against my crotch.

_"What were you saying Jess honey?"_ I love this. I love having this effect on her.

_"Nick, just kiss me again, right now!"_ She is clearly agitated, in the very best possible way.

Honestly how could I refuse that request?

I am one lucky, lucky bastard.

That is, I was one lucky bastard until the phone started ringing. And ringing and ringing and ringing. We ignored it as best we could but when a phone has been ringing solidly for five minutes you start to think its needs to get answered.

It better be life or fucking death.


	5. Chapter 5

**_A/N I know, I know. I'm a dreadful person. Where the hell have I been. From the frenzied initial updates to this mammoth gap, I feel rightly ashamed for leaving it so long ... but ... I have alternated between plot points and re-writes. I have alternated between intensely disliking this chapter and being quite pleased with myself, though not as pleased as I was with the fourth, but such is life, and as an amateur author I feel I needn't be quite so harsh with myself as I would be if I was being judged as a professional. _**

**_As always please please please read and review. I would appreciate any and all ideas. I apologise for the heightened levels of angst, I know that's kind of a dirty word in this fandom :-) _**

**_Hopefully I won't be as long with the next update! _**

* * *

Turns out the phone call was life or death.

I've been in Chicago for a week. A solid seven days of eating and making small talk with relations I haven't seen in ten years. I'm completely out of place here, most of my family didn't know I dropped out of law school. Mom must have been hoping I'd go back to finish before I'd have to face the firing squad again. I'm on a podium as the black sheep now. The perpetual underachiever, a loser, and the one my cousins will use as an example to scare their kids into studying. Half of them don't believe I went to law school, the other half think I was too lazy or stupid to finish and none of them have any problem verbalising their scepticism.

It's no wonder my Mom didn't bother telling them earlier, this is absolute agony.

And now Uncle Albie isn't even here to make fun of the hyenas with me any more. I still can't believe he's dead. I especially can't believe that last conversation I had with him was about my Mother's awful cooking last Christmas. The man gave me some of the best advice in my life and the last thing we talked about was dry Turkey and crappy vegetables.

That just doesn't seem fair.

He was the one person I wouldn't have minded ending up like.

One day he was there, the next he's just gone.

It seems so melodramatic, but this incredible feeling of guilt has hung over me since I found out he died.

I wish I had seen him more often, spent more time talking to him.

I wish he gotten to meet Jess. He would have loved her. He didn't even know she existed. That just feels wrong on so many levels.

When I got off the phone with my Mom I could barely speak. I couldn't cry. I couldn't do anything. I just stood there staring at the phone until Jess directed me towards my room and left me sitting on the bed while she packed up my clothes. She didn't even ask what I needed or where anything was, she already knew.

I didn't know she knew me that well. If the circumstances had been different I would have been so fucking happy that she knew me _that _well.

After she had packed my bags she sat beside me and held my hand for a while before getting up and leaving the room. A few minutes later she was back with a printed out ticket to O'Hare International and a cup of hot tea which she gingerly transferred to my hands.

I think I must have been in shock. Actually I'm pretty certain I was in shock. The combination of kissing Jess the way I did and then being told Albie was dead short circuited my brain. No one I cared for had ever died before, it was pretty mind blowing.

We sat for another half hour. Jess rubbed my back and murmured condolences in a soft soothing voice while I stared at the floor.

We didn't talk about it. The whole way to the airport and we somehow managed to act as though that afternoon hadn't happened. I couldn't process what we did, not to mention dissect it like a rational adult.

She must have sensed I wasn't ready because for once she didn't try to discuss everything immediately.

I'm kind of relieved, it was so intense, so much more than I had expected. I had thought about kissing her so many times. I had woken up, so many nights after dreams that were so vivid, so real, that I would spend the day trying to figure out if they had actually happened.

My brain needed to catch up with the reality of it all and I couldn't do that and focus on keeping it together long enough to get back home to my Mom.

And now, Albie's dead and I've spent seven days trying to justify my existence to an extended family I wish didn't exist. I haven't been able to confide in anyone. I've not answered the phone. My inbox is full of texts from Schmidt and Winston. Jess has sent messages too, but she didn't mention that afternoon, just asked how I was, how I was holding up with everything. The normal stuff friends ask each other when something bad happens and they can't be there.

I couldn't answer them. I didn't know what to say. Albie might have been my Uncle, but I always felt like he was more like a brother, despite the age gap.

It's over now though, I've said goodbye and good riddance to all the relatives I don't want to see for another ten years. The seven long, arduous days are over. Days I never want to live again, and the thing I've found most difficult is being away from her. I should have just asked her to come with me, I needed her.

I need her.

In every conceivable way.

* * *

_"So what have I missed around here?" _

Schmidt and Winston are sitting awkwardly on the couch. It's obvious they are trying to look casual, as though their best friend hasn't had someone important to them just up and die.

_"Nothing"_ Schmidt answers tentatively. Glancing at Winston he adopts a slightly maniacal grin, obviously for my benefit because his facial expression is alternating between terrifying homicidal clown and the crazy ADHD kid that lives on the floor below us.

_"We were 'gonna order pizza, if you want us to get you some?"_ Winston's answer to every uncomfortable emotional situation has always been food. Your puppy disappears, Winston brings you candy. Your prom date ditches you to make out with a band geek, he gets you a cheeseburger and apparently if your favourite Uncle dies, you get pizza.

I must have taken too long to respond because Schmidt starts rambling about sushi, and maybe we could get sushi instead because that's what he really wanted to order anyway. I need to cut him off before he buys yet another 80 dollars worth of disgusting seaweed crap.

_"Yeah Winston pizza sounds great"_ I try to smile a little at the end to make up for the fact that I just shouted over Schmidt and his rant about the calorie content of pizza versus sushi.

It's been less than two minutes with them and already I'm exhausted.

_"Guy's I think I'm just gonna lie down for a while. It's been a long day you know."_ I start backing away from the living room towards the sanctity of my bedroom.

I'm almost at the door when I realise I haven't asked the only thing I had wanted to know since I got out of the cab from the airport and dragged myself upstairs.

_"Hey"_ Turning I look again at my two best friends. I'm feeling much more appreciative of them given everything that has gone down this week.

_"Where's Jess?"_

If I thought Schmidt and Winston looked uncomfortable when I walked in I was clearly mistaken. They both looked at me like I was trying to persuade them into a three some, with each other. Totally uncomfortable and kind of nauseous.

Winston glances at Schmidt before standing and shuffling his feet towards me. _"Eh Nick."_ He looks totally freaked out like each syllable is causing him physical pain.

_"Um ... well ... emmm ... this is kinda hard to say ..."_

Ok this is getting really strange; he keeps glancing back at Schmidt as though he expects him to chime in at some point.

After being with my family for the better part of a week and spending most of the day travelling I was not in the mood for this weirdness.

_"Seriously Winston, just spit it the hell out! Where is Jess?"_ I think I'm entitled to shout a little. They are being unbearably annoying.

Schmidt gets up from the couch and sidles up beside Winston.

_"Nick before you left did you and Jess fight or ..."_ He trails off. He has this look in his eye that I don't like. It's a look that tells me he suspects something happened and not a fight. Winston gently nods his head.

_"Yeah man, it's just that ... well since you left ... um ... Jess hasn't really ... She hasn't actually ... "_ I think in the few days I've been gone these two have lost the ability to speak in comprehensive sentences.

_"Guys whatever it is either come out with it or leave me alone. I'm too freakin' tired for this shit!"_ I start towards my room again. When my hand hits the handle Schmidt shrieks no so loudly I think I might have a perforated eardrum.

_"Are you for real?"_ I really don't get what's happening here. _"Seriously Schmidt, what the fuck is going on?"_

_"Nick don't go in there_" Schmidt and Winston look like I was going to drop the atomic bomb right on the apartment.

_"Why the hell should I not go in my own room Schmidt?"_ I really am getting sick of this bullshit.

Schmidt doesn't answer so I turn to Winston. _"If he can't tell me why I shouldn't go in my room I suggest you say it now Winston"_

With an audible gulp he answers me, speaking as quickly as possible. _"It's just that since you went to Chicago. Jess hasn't really left your room, she's taken it over. She's there pretty much all the time. She sleeps in there. Why the hell is Jess sleeping in your room Nick?_

Fuck. She's been sleeping in my room?

In _my room_?

When I'm not here.

Because I'm not here?

Because, dare I even think it, she misses me?

She misses me so much that she needs to sleep in my room when I'm not here?

I knew I loved that girl.

Now is not the time to admit that to anyone though. I need to actually talk to Jess. Figure out what happened before I left. Where we go from that one amazing afternoon before everything went to shit.

But I'm guessing if she's been living in my space for a week because I'm not here, then it's safe to say that she feels something more than friendly towards me too.

_"Is she in there now?"_

Winston and Schmidt nod in unison.

_"I don't know why she's been in my room guys and to be honest right now I don't really care. I have bigger shit to worry about than where Jess sleeps. And frankly so do both of you"_

No way in hell am I going to let them know there might be something between Jess and me before I've had the chance to figure it out.

Turning once again to my door I grip the handle ready to face the beautiful woman that's on the other side.

Suddenly the day has gotten a little brighter, a little more hopeful.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N Hey guys Here's the latest in A Fine Line. It's a short chapter. I felt it had come to a natural end and I didn't want to push on as I seem to be writing this story as though it were a sequence of scenes. I seem to have become a bit of a romantic in all this, which in turn makes Nick a bit of a romantic too (though I suspect that's what they are getting at in the show) Don't get me wrong, I've always been a hopeless romantic, I just didn't envision myself writing romance if that makes sense(?)!**

**Anyhow I just wanted to thank everyone who have followed, favourited and reviewed the story thus far you are all fantastic! Please keep the reviews coming I love getting feedback even if its just a :-)**

**Dee xx**

* * *

Surreptitiously stepping into the room my eyes immediately find the mass of dark curls that are splayed against my pillows.

Apparently she can sleep through anything. Or perhaps I wasn't shouting at Schmidt and Winston as loudly as I thought I was.

I'm not sure what to do. She's clearly in a deep sleep and anyway I'm don't think I can cope with talking to her right now. I could say something really freakin' stupid and ruin everything.

I am determined that for once in my life I am not going to be the person who fucks up.

I need to move, because I'm creeping even myself out the way I'm staring at her.

There's only one thing I can really do. I'm not ready to talk to her but she's asleep in my bed. I need to sleep too. Therefore I need to get into that bed without waking her and risking conversation.

I know I could go stay in her room but really there's no way I'm going to deny myself the pleasure of sharing a bed with her even if the circumstances are not how I imagined us first sleeping together.

I'll just need to be super stealthy then. Ninja Nick.

It's a slightly skewed logic, but I reckon my Ninja skills are decent enough to pull it off.

Moving into the room I undress as quietly as I can. Right now I really wish I was the pyjama wearing kind of guy because getting into bed wearing just my boxers is a little too close to nudity for this situation. Throwing my t-shirt back on I make my way towards her. Thankfully she's only taking up the half closest to the door so it's easy for me to slip under the covers and get myself comfortable without jostling the bed too much.

Turning on my side I resume the creepy staring thing. She has the cutest sleeping face. Her nose is kind of wrinkled and her mouth is pursed in a little cupids bow.

Without even thinking about it I lean over and very lightly kiss her lips. I couldn't help myself. It was almost a reflex action.

She didn't wake up. I'm almost tempted to do it again, just to see if she would. I reckon I've been reading too many fairy tales to the kids this past week, because Jess looks a hell of a lot like Sleeping Beauty and if I wasn't petrified of having to actually talk to her I probably would have tried the whole waking her up from sleep with a kiss. A proper kiss that is, the kind that she would really feel.

I think she'd enjoy it, I'm fairly certain she harbours a serious Disney Princess fantasy. I'd be disappointed if she didn't, she is Jess after all. She practically danced off the pages as a fairytale princess.

Dragging my eyes away from her I settle myself into the bed and try to look at the ceiling instead of her gorgeous hair.

As I lie there I remember I was supposed to have pizza with Winston and Schmidt. Grabbing my phone from the night stand I send a quick text to Schmidt to tell him not to include me in their order. I turn the phone off just in case. I really don't want him texting me to find out what's happening.

As it stands I'm fairly sure that he and Winston are eavesdropping, alternating water glasses against the wood in an attempt to hear what's going on.

Sure enough a few seconds after I turn the phone off, I hear the beep of an incoming message from outside the door. Typical Schmidt. I am going to have to have another talk with them about boundaries. I have a feeling that privacy is going to become very important to me soon.

Feeling my eyes become heavier I turn myself to face Jess again. I can't remember that last time I was so happy having someone lie beside me in bed without having any agenda other than sleep. For the first time that week, hell that year, I drifted off with a smile on my face.

* * *

_"Nick ... Nick ..."_ I can hear Jess's voice but I'm too comfortable to wake up right now. Closing my eyes even tighter I cuddle closer to the warmth in my bed. It's only when I hear her voice again that I realise the warmth I am curled around is in fact a body, a very female body. Opening my eyes I can see that somehow during the night I have managed to wrap myself completely around her, spooning her from behind and enclosing her limbs tightly with mine.

_"Oh God Jess, I'm sorry!"_ I move backwards on the bed releasing her from the strangle hold sleeping Nick had put her in. I'm completely mortified. How long had I had her pinned like that? It must have been so uncomfortable for her. How could she breath? Oh fuck.

_"Jess, I'm really sorry I wasn't thinking straight. I should have slept on the couch or something. I shouldn't have..." _At that she turns to face me. She looks flushed and gorgeous, always gorgeous. Really, she's turning me into such a sap. I was never this obsessed with a woman before. Even Caroline.

_"No no no Nick, don't... don't you even think that!" _She's staring me down, the most earnest expression on her face. _"Nick, I don't know what's going on in your head right now but I only wanted to wake you cause I need to pee. Not because of anything else ok?" _She nods her head for emphasis and looks at me until I nod my head back._ "So get rid of the turtle face and when I come back you can go right back to what you were doing!" _Seems like_ s_leepy Jess is a bossy Jess. At least I know she's being sincere and now that I'm a bit more awake I can see that I wasn't actually hurting her, just being a bit grabby in my sleep.

I hate the rush of cold air that hits me when she lifts the blankets to get out of the bed and pad her way across the room. Turning as she reached the door Jess looks back at me and with the softest voice says _"I'm so glad you're back, I missed you" _

She's out the door before I can respond.

I've never been one to spoon, I don't normally like waking up tangled in someone else. But as I lie my head back against the wall I realise that those seconds before I freaked out, thinking I was strangling her, were the most contented moments I've had in a long time. I can't wait until she comes back. I still don't know what I'll say to her but its still the middle of the night perhaps I can put off talking and just cuddle her and sleep some more.

When she comes back, it seems that that's all she wants to do too, because as soon as she crawls back into bed she lies on her side and pulls my arms back around her waist and hooks her legs around mine again.

I have to say something, we're both drifting off to sleep again but I can't not say this before that happens. Breathing into her ear I whisper in the most sincere voice I can muster _"I really missed you too Jess, I never knew I could miss someone as much as I missed you."_

She doesn't answer me but then I wasn't expecting her too. Instinctively I know that she isn't ready to talk tonight either.

After a few moments just as I am closing my eyes Jess responds to my whisper. She doesn't speak but instead she takes the hand I have curled around her waist and lifts it to cup her breast and presses herself even closer to me.

That action alone tells me more than any words could. She trusts me, she wants me, she needs me. It's breathtaking.

Just staggering.

Tomorrow can wait because right now feels pretty damn perfect.


	7. Author's Note

**A/N Hey guys to everyone who is following this story I am just writing a short note to let you know that I am going to update soon, I haven't forgotten about this AT ALL! It's just that with an AU story I'm in the wilderness trying to figure out where to go and the ending of chapter 6 was a critical point in the story arc. Unfortunately its an arc I need to figure out entirely on my own which is the beauty and the curse of AU fictions. I am working on it though and I expect that an update will come sooner rather than later! Anyway here's a super brief taster from the next chapter!**

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_Do something today that your future self will thank you for._

I saw that on a sign in O'Hare and from the second I read it, all I could think of was Jess.

My future self would thank me for her. My past self already does and my present self…

Well my present self is doing the something that future me will thank me for.


End file.
